Despite the obvious challenges we face in dealing with a pandemic, there are indisputably, silver linings…could your wedding be one of them? You might think you’re getting a raw deal – your vision of filling an elaborate reception hall with friends and family from all walks of life has been replaced with images of a much more simple affair (aka micro wedding), paling in comparison to what you had been planning in your mind for months, maybe even years.
But here’s the thing about love: it perseveres and ultimately wins regardless of whether fantasies play out as planned or have to be adjusted. Countless couples have contacted me over the last few months in search of a Justice of the Peace to officiate their not-so-exciting Covid wedding. At least that’s their mindset when they initially reach out. Fast forward to their wedding day and they’re singing a different tune. Over and over, couples tell me how happy they are that their original wedding plans were overturned in exchange for what they thought was a stroke of bad luck, but turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
If you’re considering shelving your grandiose wedding plans, my advice is do it. Hands down. You can always have a big reception when circumstances allow, but chances are, you will be so happy with a scaled down version of your plans, you may decide to pocket the money and put a down payment on your first house.
There are four key points you need to consider when shifting gears in favor of a Covid wedding:
Size….Bigger isn’t better. Years from now, you will not remember half the people you invited to your 200 guest wedding. Plus, ask yourself how you want to spend your wedding celebration. If you answered playing host or hostess and missing out on all the yummy food you so carefully selected, this post is not for you. If you prefer to actually enjoy your wedding day and all the wining and dining that goes with it, keep your guest list limited to a close circle of friends and family you know will be part of your life forever. Trouble eliminating guests? Make it simple and elope. Keep the day about just the two of you without worrying whether Aunt Betsy has a gluten free dining option. Spend the day however you want without answering to a single person.
Get Creative…If you simply can’t imagine having a wedding without 200 of your closest friends, you will need to get creative. Consider enlisting the help of technology and stage a virtual wedding ceremony. Zoom is the common theme of 2020 weddings. It’s a fantastic way to loop a large crowd into your wedding ceremony without shelling out thousands of dollars on an open bar. At one wedding I officiated, they took the Zoom concept a step further and selected a few important viewers to participate in the ceremony by reading passages and poems that held special meaning for them. Another wedding couple lined up a full day of receptions at different venues. They assigned guests a time and venue, making sure each gathering was no larger than guidelines set by the state. They enjoyed a day of venue hopping and were able to celebrate with all their friends and family – just not under one roof.
Protocol….To mask or not to mask? The benefit of keeping your wedding small is that guests are usually part of the same social bubble and feel comfortable interacting with each other. Whether or not your guests wear masks depends on your comfort level as well as the regulations of your venue. If you plan to have vendors, it has been my experience that photographers, DJ’s, caterers, and the like, will mask-up. As an officiant, I offer my couples the option and for the most part, they prefer I do not wear a mask, and instead, keep my distance which is very easy to do during a ceremony. While it is certainly understandable that you may not want masks dominating your wedding photos, there are some couples who have put safety first and have had a little fun with coordinating masks.
Style ….The number one question to ask yourself when planning a Covid wedding is, how can I make this day really special? The intimate nature of smaller weddings allow the addition of unique elements not conducive to a larger gathering. Perhaps you can splurge on a signature cocktail for everyone to enjoy. Or maybe you can now afford a fun party favor – like personalized bottles of hand sanitizer. But what will really set your wedding apart is your wedding ceremony. This often overlooked component to weddings is, perhaps, the most important. Steer clear of clichéd phrases and cookie cutter services. Make the ceremony about you – how you met, what makes your relationship special – add your favorite quote or reading – and, of course, the centerpiece of all ceremonies – write your own personal vows to each other. If writing your own ceremony or personal vows sends you running for the hills, I’ve got you covered. Hire me to turn your thoughts, feelings, and hopes for the future into a ceremony your guests will never forget. What better way to celebrate your love for each other and make your Covid wedding a silver lining?
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